To My Brave Little Boy,

Tonight was the hardest time I have ever had leaving your side. Little do you know but tomorrow you are going to surgery again for the second time since you were born. The first time was hard to think of what your little body would be going through and wondering if you would actually be okay. This time is hard because you have come so far and I don't think I can stand to see you take steps backward. We have come so far and you are so close to going home...what if that all changes tomorrow?

You have taught me so much about bravery as I have watched you struggle with and then overcome so many obstacles in the few short months that you have been alive. I wonder what it must have been like to fight for each breath of air? I wonder what kind of pain you experienced when you had your PDA ligation? I wonder what it is like to constantly be poked and prodded? How do you forgive and forget so quickly? Oh that I had your innocence and ability to love unconditionally!

If someone asked me today who my hero was, I would say YOU! It never ceases to amaze me how appropriate your name Kekoa (brave/strong warrior) is to the life that you are living. Thank you for being my baby and hero.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day but Makaio and I will be waiting for you when you return from the operating room and Daddy will be there later. We hope that when the anesthesia wears off you will see our smiling faces and feel of our love.

All my love,

Mommy

PLEASE DO NOT TAP ON THE GLASS! Mama Bear will attack if you wake up her baby!!!

This is the cage that M sleeps in when we are in K's room all day. I think he looks like a caged animal at the zoo, but he doesn't seem to mind.

Jailbreak

M. finally did it, he was released from the hospital two days before his due date.

Life has really changed now that I have to take complete care of one baby. Now we wait for K. to meet all of his goals and get out of here so we can go home to Daddy. The day when we all live together under the same roof can't come soon enough!

Time No Longer Exists

I can't believe that we have been in the NICU now for three months. A small part of me feels like it was just yesterday that the twins were born and another part of me feels like we have been here for an eternity. Someday, and hopefully someday in the near future, we will all be together again.

Here are the changes that have taken place in the last month.

K. Sheffield

1. I can easily go through 6 outfits in one day. I have terrible acid reflux which causes me to vomit often and cry even more. Mommy wishes there was something she could do but if you move me right after I have downed my breast milk, watch out or it is likely to end up on your shirt.
2. I am now 17 3/4 inches long and a whopping 6 pounds 12.5 ounces.
3. I love my food and I eat over 14 ounces of breast milk per day. I have also started breast feeding which is still pretty difficult for me considering the extent of my lung disease.
4. I was extubated and I actually cried real tears, which caused mommy to cry real tears also. (August 3, 2010)
5. I got my two month immunizations on mommy's birthday. (August 4, 2010)
6. I moved into the room next to Makaio.
7. I graduated to a crib.
8. I was converted to nasal cannula (August 18, 2010) and my oxygen settings are now at an acceptable limit to be discharged (1 liter).
9. We had our first family photo taken where all four of us were together (August 22, 2010). I slept through the entire thing but I'm pretty sure I heard Makaio crying the whole time.

M. Sheffield

1. I am one determined little boy. I know what I want and please don't try to make me think otherwise. For example, when mommy is feeding me I don't like her to touch me AT ALL! I can tell even if she is only touching me with one finger and I will cry until she stops.
2. I am now 19 3/4 inches and I weigh 7 pounds 4.8 ounces.
3. As you can tell from the size of my cheeks, I also enjoy my food. I eat over 17 ounces a day. I also breast feed but I get to eat whenever I want. I once ate for 37 minutes and three hours later, my diaper was almost as heavy as me (not really but it was heavy).
4. I graduated to a crib.
5. My oxygen requirements are at an acceptable level for discharge (3/4 liter).
6. Like Kekoa said, we had our first family photo taken in August and I did in fact cry the entire time. In my defense, I was hungry and everyone seemed more concerned about taking pictures than feeding me. Of course mommy didn't post the pictures where I was trying to find food at daddy's chest, she only posted the nice ones.

Notice how the changes are really starting to slow down. We are getting closer to going home and we are hoping to be home with daddy before we turn four months old. In the meantime, keep coming back for updates on us and perhaps even an occasional update on our parents. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. We love you all!

Dear Mastitis,

Thank you for coming to visit after three months of pumping. I was beginning to think that we might never have a chance to meet. You have actually managed to add more stress to my life, how kind of you! Though I appreciate your desire to develop a friendship with me, I think I will have to rid my life of you as soon as possible.

Love,

Cylynn